Advice on dating relationships
After splitting from his wife of 25 years, Koop ventured back into the dating world last year with a new diagnosis and a completely altered lifestyle.With his lesser-known but serious allergy – one that requires him to avoid everything from red meat to gelatin and dairy – he changed not only his diet, but also personal products such as soap, deodorant and shampoo because they contained animal fat byproducts.The 26-year-old notes that at parties or at bars, if he was flirting with a girl and she leaned in for a kiss, he had to turn away.“It was hard because some will take it the wrong way and think you’re not into them,” says Brennan, an exercise therapist who lives near Toronto, Canada.Miller advises that these conversations should not be a one-time event.
“I want someone to get to know me for me.” Bantock had been diagnosed with severe allergies to peanuts and tree nuts when she was a toddler.
For instance, when a date asks about her Medic Alert bracelet, she uses that as an opportunity to speak about her allergies.
“There will be a natural opening in a conversation to bring up your needs in a chill way,” says Miller, who is severely allergic to tree nuts and salmon, and also has allergies to several fruits and vegetables.
Once old enough to date, “I always tried to make my allergy my problem.” She would check to make sure that date night restaurants could prepare nut-free fare or sometimes eat in advance if she didn’t think a night out would include allergy-safe snacks. Then, after three months of seeing each other, he said he couldn’t be her boyfriend because of her food allergies.
As she and the blue-eyed guy started going out, she learned that his sister and mother both had food allergies. “I don’t want to worry all the time,” he told her – words that hurt her deeply.
Even on big websites such as OKCupid or e Harmony, Carroll notes that online dating can make it easier to put any food allergies out there by including them in the personal profile.